Coz you and I both.

And it's okay, if you had to go away.

Night of the Diabetic

Sorry I slept a bit too early last night..
The conversation really opened my eyes to the smaller things I missed in life, thank you.
I promise you, I will show more effort in wanting to be with you under your condition and I will do my very best to understand it.
I think I'll visit MPH to look for books regarding diabetics, about the condition generally and the diets.
I started reading in genetics a few months ago, time for me to step up.
I love you.

Vibrations.

I woke up around 2am last night (morning?) and couldn't sleep again.

Took a walk outside that cold night and tire myself so I could sleep with the most rapid of heartbeats. I felt my whole body vibrate as I tried to rest. I held my chest until I fell asleep. Pening. Now my back hurts and my heart is still beating irregularly fast.

This is unnecessary exam pressure.

Please let it be over already.

Lately, I am.

Lately, I am tired.
Lately, I am disconnected.

Ah, so many things I choose to think about. why did I take in so many responsibilities at one. Some are even very trivial. On that over-achieving pathway again.

It wouldn't be a problem, really, if I had that much more time for the people I love. However, all the pressure seems to be taking me away from the people I love. I have not been contacting my parents or make good connections with people around me. Alhamdulillah for the room mates, or else I'd be a blob of mess sitting alone in my room.

Awefullywritten has been doing fine. Its been having a good push since the start although it has been slowing down since its exam time. Exams has been harsh on me, the criminal paper was killer. Too many things I would like to say but the mind just stopped and corked right there and then. I have been having too much sleep even for my own liking.

And of course, Aimi I am sorry for being a mess and dragged you into this without your consent. If there was one thing I would change, it would be this. I will gladly throw this all away for you. You have been too kind to a person like me and that patience I have never seen in another in my entire life, aside from my mother. I am unkind for destroying a beauty such as yours.

I won't exaggerate and tell you I am in depression. I only feel like I'm entering depression. Like a balloon is about to pop right in my hand. There's a lot more unfortunate people around. Way more unfortunate, I shouldn't complain.

I will remain in my silence.